life of uncertainty

Wishing everyone a blessed New Year!!!

I think I mentioned here recently that although Christmas doesn’t jump out in my head as a favorite holiday I seem to have a lot of Christmas decorations and it is easy to get into the whole holiday spirit, what with time off, goodies and family around, darker, colder days, etc

I would say that this year I had one of my more labor intensive holidays, I plan them to be this way more in the future because I’m really trying to foster my creative side. I just want the holidays to be about the joy of showing those I love how much I care and yet maintaining the integrity of not spending too spend or burdening people down with more “stuff”.

I think my bitterness towards Christmas was a combination of meager holidays as a child and my non-Christian religious status because there are many, many ways over the years that I have made this holiday more meaningful to myself and the abundance of good memories I have are priceless.

I got distracted for a couple hours from this entry so my apologies if it is a bit disjointed

This year I really got into the baking thing, kicked off by the fabulous cookie exchange that J and B threw. I can’t say enough about how much I appreciate how thoughtful they were in giving me a “save the date” notice well in advance.

After baking many, many dozens of cookies I knew I would be able to distribute them as gifts. I find that many a year it is my children that get gifts and no one else hears much from me. I know not everyone wants cookies but at least it shows I’m thinking of them and feels a bit more personal than just a card.

To go along with the cookies I intended to make cake balls but time got away. I spent the 23rd making decorated sugar cookies with my sister S and our kids. I then spent Christmas Eve day making more sugar cookies and salt dough ornaments with my sister M and our children. We had a lot of fun! I really wanted to capture the memories so I took pictures with my real camera so I only have this one to post. Being from my sad little camera phone it doesn’t capture the beauty so much

Late, late on Christmas Eve I really had to face the fact that I wasn’t going to have a live tree so I drew one on paper, complete with a gold glitter glue star. I never did get around to hanging any lights either. That is one thing I would really like to do for myself next year, update my lights.

I’ve really enjoyed the hanging of stockings too in the years since G made them for us. I so love my family, born and made.

We enjoyed a low key morning with my parents while the kids opened gifts and then while some in the house napped my father and I played video games. I made grilled cheese for lunch and then we went to visit my maternal grandparents. We stayed for a few hours and enjoyed a low key meal with them and some other family. It was definitely an odd year for us as neither of my brothers were able to make it.

My sister Melissa and I discussed how practical and reasonable it is that each year as our families grow and mature that we won’t do all of us in one house anymore but how it really isn’t any easier to reconcile that fact in our hearts.

We wrapped up the evening by some family time (my immediate) and the kids went to bed early after a long day with much excitement, too much sugar and no sleeping. Once my parents returned we settled in and enjoyed a viewing of Love Actually. I must say I am exhausted! Even with no big meals nor 20 headcount in my house. It is quiet here today at work and I am oh. so. sleepy.

With work interruptions this entry as strung out forever and my initial intention I think has been lost. I leave you with some of my favorite Christmas/Yule memories (in no particular order):

- The popcorn tins with cheese, butter and caramel corn that we always got from my uncle Leon and his family

- going shopping with my siblings the day after Christmas with our gift certificates

- stocking exchange with the girl, G and kids, etc

- Christmas morning breakfast at Gramma Rhetta’s

- Christmas letter from dear Georgia

- opening a gift on Christmas Eve

- making hand crafted gifts for friends (Fimo and beeswax)

- round robin gift opening at “the blue house” before we were so many

- Christmas movies with my bestest friends

- one cold, crazy Christmas looking at lights with boys

- making the trek across town to see my grandparents, aunts and uncles

- eggnog

- giving trees

- tree trimming

And for the coming years I want to learn to do this and all around try to learn ways to dote on EVERYONE I love, care and think about on daily basis

> I really feel like a kid when I’m out in all this powdery snow, and then I get behind the wheel

> I really like to overstimulate myself

> I would like to be more creative/involved in this blog. I find my entries boring

> I discovered this weekend that I would really like to learn to crochet Christmas ornaments and make snowflakes, paper ones

> Memoirs of a Geisha was a pretty movie but it didn’t do much for me

> I am really so joyed at giving my son something for Christmas that he really wants

> I’m sad that I can’t gift for some of my most loved ones, at least not timely anyway

> I adore Elvis!

> I like my new manager at work

> If the man in my life could fully grasp how happy his “how is your day?” message made me we would have no problems. maybe

> This isn’t feeling very random

> Even though Christmas isn’t one of my “favorite holidays” I find it the easiest to celebrate/make decorative, I think because of the tie in with winter in general

> I’m looking forward to making cookies/ornaments with my kids

> I love Henry Rollins

> I’m rarely ever truly satisfied with anything I cook. I can think of one exception, stuffed peppers I made for my mom. I’m afraid to try them again for fear they don’t stand up to my memory

> my children love to climb/sit/lay on me. I adore it when it is one on one but when they fight over me I want to flee the scene. And I feel horribly guilty about that

> i wish I had more blog followers

> a great woman, Monica, not only sent me a beautiful Christmas card but a gift! Thank you again! I think you are my first “virtual” acquaintance who I can now call a friend!

> I’m really foggy about details in the lives of 2 people very close to me (and more actually). I’m foggy about things in their past that I know we’ve discussed but I don’t know the finer details, just the gist. How do you say “hey, you know some of those really painful times in your life? I know you had them, I kind of know what they were about but I’d like to rehash them so I can better understand what I think I know?” huh? how do you?

> Why doesn’t the T9 dictionary have very many food words in it? am I the only one that notices this?

> Am I boring you yet?

A few photos snapped this morning. Shamefully I realize I’ve not yet taken any of my kids enjoying the snow. We live in an apartment so they aren’t really spending much time in it except at daycare (she apparently has a stash of snow appropriate gear, I’m just lucky if I can keep my kids warm during transport but I’m screwed at keeping them dry if they play)

It snowed this weekend. I’m at work, my kids are home from school. The office is so quiet with those that can staying home and off the roads. The day seems to be moving pretty quickly but I am colder than I like. What a better way to warm myself up than to have some fun with a little meme… I borrowed this from Catherine, and I’m shamelessly bastardizing to suit my wants and desires

1. What time do you get up on x-mas morning? Same time as every day, 7ish

2. What do you want for Christmas? A steam mop or kitchen stuff

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? Milk, on Friday! Yay!

5. What do you usually have for x-mas breakfast? It varies, nothing healthy I assure you

7. What food do you dislike on the Holidays? Yams, sweet potatoes, cherry pie

8. Is all of your x-mas shopping done yet? yes and no

9. Real or fake x-mas tree? Real! I love the smell!

10. Gift or Gift card? gifts almost always

11. Favorite x-mas song? We Three Kings, and others in this vain, in traditional style. No remixing

12. Favorite x-mas gift of all time? Not a clue!

13. Would you ever Regift? Totally! Anything to spread joy and be green to boot

14. Favorite x-mas dinner? Turkey

16. Favorite x-mas movie? Love Actually (theonly one I can think of at the moment)

17. Are you a Grinch or a Santa? Santa

18. How many x-mas parties are you going to? One, a cookie exchange this past weekend

20. Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Christmas morning

21. Do you go to Church for x-mas? no

22. What is your slipper size? 10/11

23. Have you ever gotten a pet for x-mas? no…and I hope I never do

24. What’s your star sign? Cancer

25. What was your best Christmas from when you where little? Can’t think of one in particular but I know I looked pretty happy at Christmas when I was little (under 10)

26. Where will you be for x-mas? at home

27. What is your favorite candy? chocolate

28. What is your favorite x-mas cookie? sugar cookies with frosting

29. Thanksgiving or Christmas? Thanksgiving

30. Candy Canes or Chocolate Santas? Chocolate Santas

31. Favorite Holiday Drink? eggnog, non-alcoholic

32. Wrap gifts or bag them? wrap, I save gift bags for other occasions

33. Does your family do x-mas stockings? yes

34. If you were a reindeer, which would you be? Comet?

35. How is the weather right now? Cold, clear, snow on the ground

36. How many people do you shop for at x-mas? Five and up… depends on budget, time

37. Favorite mall to shop at? I dislike malls

38. Favorite restaurant? J James

39. Do you like snow? Yes, but only while it is falling really.

40. What was your favorite toy as a child? My stuffed Nipper, RCA dog, and then Barbie

41. Summer or winter? Summer

42. Hugs or kisses? Kisses

43. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

44. Coffee or tea? Tea

45. Ski or Snowboard? Neither

46. When was the last time you went sledding? Not sure that I ever have

47. Where do you hide gifts that you buy? Tops of closets

48. What did you do last night? Read and watched tv

49. Snow Boots or Cute Boots? No boots

50. Salty or sweet? You can’t have just one!

51. How many kids in your family still believe in Santa? all of them, that I know of.

52. Favorite Holiday Show? Charlie Brown Christmas

53. Hot Cocoa or a Cold Beer? Hot cocoa, preferably with whipped cream and mint

54. How many days will you get off for x-mas? 2

55. Red or Green? Red

56. When do you put up the tree? Usually a week or so before Christmas because I’m cheap about paying for my tree

57. When do you take the tree down? After the New Year

58. Do you like eggnog? Oh yes!!!

59. Hardest person to buy for? This year, my 2 year old

60. Easiest person to buy for? My son

61. Do you have a nativity scene? No

62. Mail or email Christmas cards? Rarely do I do either. I’m trying my hand at mailing this year

63. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? In recent memory… the Hershey Kiss make-at-home kit from my then boyfriend

64. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually last minute, depends on when the pay period lands

65. Lights on the tree? White usually

66. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home

67. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? How many are there again?

68. Angel on the tree top or a star? It changes yearly, last year it was a decorated pine cone

69. Open the presents Christmas Eve? Usually one, the rest on Christmas morning

70. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Traffic

71. Favorite ornament, theme or color? I have these little crochet ornaments from my grandmother. I like silver and blue and also pink lights

72. Favorite tradition in your house? Stockings

Happy holidays!!!

I’m attending a RL cookie exchange tomorrow night so it was a no-brainer to participate in this virtual exchange. Yay for cookies! I made these cookies last weekend but only the cookie part. They are a rolled out cookie so make them thinner or thicker depending on how soft you like them. I really enjoy malt and was so pleased with the malt flavor in these. The recipe is from the 60’s and this is listed as a nutritious recipe for kids. They are just a less sweet sugar cookie. I’ll be frosting my cookies tonight so I will update on Monday

Malted Milk Rounds - Betty Crocker Cooky Book, circa 1970

4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup malted milk power (plain)
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1/3 cup commercial sour cream
2 tsp vanilla
Malt Frosting (below)

Measure flour by dipping method or by sifting. Blend first five ingredients thoroughly. Cream butter; gradually add sugar. Blend in eggs; beat well. Add half the blended dry ingredients; mix thoroughly. Add sour cream and vanilla; stir in remaining dry ingredients. Chill at least 4 hrs.

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Divide dough and roll 1/4″ thick on well-floured pastry cloth. Cut with 2 1/2″ cutter. Bake 12 to 15 mins on ungreased baking sheet. Cool about 2 min. Remove to racks. Cool; frost tops with frosting.

Makes about 5 dozen cookies

Note: If you use self-rising flour, omit soda and salt

Malt Frosting

1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/4 cup milk or cream
1/3 cup malted milk powder (plain)
1/2 tsp vanilla
3 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar

Cook brown sugar, butter, and milk in saucepan until sugar is melted. Remove from heat; stir in malted milk powder and vanilla. Blend in confectioners’ sugar gradually until of right consistency. (What that is I have no clue)

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Jacob!
Happy Birthday to YOOOUUU!!!
cha cha cha!

It has been a real pleasure getting to know you over the last few years! I count you in my group of close friends and hope you feel the same. I’d like to thank you for all you have brought to my life - delicious food, Augusten, Joan Crawford trivia, yummy cocktails, mannerisms, affectations, wit, intelligence, know-how, etc!

warm blankets, chai, waking up early with my kids, trying new recipes, my daughter’s vocabulary (inhaler, goofy, silly, funny, Christmas, sweet dreams, “come see my poop”, vitamin, medicine, princess, “my Elijah”), postcards, laying next to my husband, saying “my husband” without crying, Charlie Brown specials (the original ones, especially the Christmas one), cereal, ice cold milk, figurative pats on the back, email, blogs, babies, giveaways, therapy, friends, fog, a car with a good defroster/heater, nights out with friends, E’s imagination, his sweetness, his reading out loud, water, warm showers, fingerless gloves, dishwasher, garbage disposal, Subway, sleep, books, music, shopping channels, Freddy the Golden Hamster, Pringles, brisk walks, morning stretches, whipped cream, coolwhip, malt, naps, sunshine, rainbows, Halloween, christmas trees, free lunch, red, blue, orange, black, grey, law and order, bones, criminal intent, al pacino, old movies on AMC (even when I’ve never seen them, just knowing they are on brings a smile to my face, and makes me think of ones I love), watching Joan Crawford movies with Jacob, getting stupid with Gabrielle, watching X grow up, payday, the end of day being in an hour