life of uncertainty

I’ve learned that putting something on your calendar far in advance does not mean one will necessarily be any more prepared when the time comes. I am so excited I can barely stand it… We are going dancing tonight at the Fez!!! WaaaHooo!!! Friday nights are their 80’s dance parties and they rock. I think it is the only thing getting me through the day.

Because I have little specific memory of my childhood and I love pop culture, I often adopt general themes or images in as my own experiences. Today I’m listing the things that I specifically remember about the 80’s (the fun stuff anyway)

- Learning about Billy Idol and Duran Duran from my next door neighbor
- Music books with lyrics to pop songs; most notable from the book I remember was When Doves Cry, Glamourous Life and Sugar Walls.
- The overall sensation of crossing the line from innocent child to young person. I recall those first physical sensations of attraction, longing, etc. Knowing that my parents wouldn’t want me to watch certain videos but not knowing why. Reading those song lyrics and understanding how to read between the lines…
- rubber bracelets
- hair bands/glam rock
- sitcoms (some great, some not so much): Cheers, The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Give Me a Break, 227, Amen. Some of these really stick about to me because my father abhorred them so much.
- Cable, back in the day of the sliding channel box. I use to love to get the little pamphlet that came for each month that would list the 10 movies HBO/Showtime would show over and over and over again, with all the air dates and times. Thanks to this I have seen Grease who knows how many times. And Irreconcilable Differences! I loved that movie! Oh! and Popeye and who can forget the best of all - Labyrinth. I also liked to watch Faerie Tale Theater with Shelley Duvall, my favorite was Beauty and the Beast
- Jordache jeans with zippers at the ankles
- MTV showing new videos at the top of every hour
- Remote Control
- hopscotch, tetherball, wall ball, 2 and 4-square, schools using giant tractor wheels as climbing/hiding structures. I had my first girl crush in one of those.
- American Bandstand
- Oh, and those dramas! LA Law, Hill Street Blues, Murder She Wrote, Dynasty, TJ Hooker
- Roller skating
- Those weird plastic necklaces with charms (if anyone knows what these were called I beg of you to enlighten me)
- Skater boys
- outdoor school, instant strawberry oatmeal, string cheese, He-Man, She-Ra, Cheese-Ra, Barbies, The Breakfast Club, and best of all some really, really good times with some great friends

I am ready to get my dance on!!!

I know I didn’t touch on music too much because I could go on and on and on and… you get the picture. What about you? What are some of your favorite songs/recollections of the 80’s?

The weekend is over and what a doozy of a Monday this has turned out to be.

Accomplished this weekend:

bacon in the oven, twice
hair trim, awful (you really do get what you pay for)
found new coat for the boy and got a great deal
laundry
bought little miss some new undies, too cute
my first eggnog of the season, thanks gabo!
a lovely nap yesterday
lots of reading
sex
trip to the library
too much convenient food
lovely dinner with G and girls (all ingredients on hand with the exception of green onions and soup)

Oh thank goodness, today is finally at an end.

please keep my friends and acquaintances in your thoughts, prayers, etc… my friend D, her father has leukemia and isn’t well and has an infection, my friend M, her family is coping with another loss of a prematurely born babe, and my coworker M, her sons have gone missing while fishing. hoping for more lightness tomorrow

I started composing this in my head and realized it will mostly revolve around food… It would appear that I am hungry. Stomache growling and shakiness sent me off to the vending machine. I had to give my apple to my son because I forgot to pack his after school snack because I forgot he had an after school activity today.

This weekend this could happen:

pumpkin scones, homemade refried beans, lots and lots of reading, leg shaving, girls night (the kind with little muchkins), a library visit, bacon in the oven (thanks C), risotto with shrimp, bathroom cleaning, laundry, learning which basketball team the boy is on, yoga

… this post is going nowhere fast because I’m scarfing my food and my body is going into shock from hunger

I’m being honest with myself, and you, and stating that I have been attempting a reconciliation with my husband.

It is hard, it is easy. It is sad, it is funny. It is nerve wracking and loin quivering and… I could go on and on but I won’t.

Today I’ll just say this: I’m feeling good. I’m standing my ground but I’m not overly hopeful. I feel like this can be nice for a few months but will never become anything. I really, really, REALLY want to be wrong though.

I leave in roughly 30 mins for my first marriage counseling appt. I’m scared to death he just won’t show. I know it will be all on and about him if this is the case but it still takes my breath away.