life of uncertainty

Yay for the rain drying up for the evening festivities!
I’ve gorged myself on pumpkin cupcakes and Raisinettes!
I love getting that same, small thrill, upon opening a glowstick today as I did as a child.
Should we or not have a convenient meal if not altogether healthy?
Can my family manage to get out and trick or treat before it gets too late?
Happy Birthday to Solomon!
Happy Belated birthday to my cousin Greg
Happy early Birthday to my dear Gabrielle
TGIF!
No idea what to take to the brunch
need to vote this weekend
need to cancel stupid free trials I sign up for
Thankfully remembered to reenroll for 2009 benefits
My phone decided to stop working. I feel lost without it today.
I’m going to TRY to take some good pictures of my kidlets in their costumes and not forget my batteries like last year.
Cooking for 1 and 2 munchkins is hard. I end up eating the same thing for lunch day in, day out so the leftovers don’t go to waste.
Uninspired
worried
hungry
got cute new clothes for little miss Z. hand me downs from the meticulous sister, goodie!
boring drivel is my halloween trick for you
where did the day go?
Have fun and stay safe tonight.

Saw this, thought about doing it yesterday, decided against it, wanted to post today, couldn’t figure out anything even remotely interesting to talk about, decided to use it today! Thanks Tash!

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Where is your significant other? Somewhere
3. Your hair color? Needing refreshed, brown
4. Your mother? Scatterbrained
5. Your father? Aging
6. Your favorite thing? Mail
7. Your dream last night? Did I?
8. Your dream/goal? To figure out what my dream/goal is
9. The room you’re in? Office cubicle
10. Your hobby? pastime? Reading
11. Your fear? Not being good enough
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. What you’re not? Fashionable
15. One of your wish list items? Crockpot
16. Where you grew up? Oregon/California
17. The last thing you did? Peed
18. What are you wearing? Jean, Converse, black bra
19. Your T.V.? Pretty
20. Your pet? None
21. Your computer? Work provided Dell
22. Your mood? Bored
23. Missing someone? Always
24. Your car? Ford
25. Something you’re not wearing? perfume
26. Favorite store? Anywhere with kitchen stuff
27. Your Summer? Low key
28. Love someone? Many
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? This week

Happy birthday my dear friend! It has truly been a pleasure having you in my life. I know we don’t talk as often as we could, or see one another as much as we should but I think of you often. I love talking with you. I love reading your blog and enjoying your photography. I love your gentle nature. I hope you have another delightful year!

Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States.

Please join me tonight at 7 pm in the lighting of candles to remember all the families who have been and will be touched by this tragedy. Let us honor the spirits of all those little babes!

I will remember always!

And if you are so inclined please check out the information on S.3142 and H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awarenesss and Research Acts

Thank you.

In memory of

Callum
Hannah
Henry
Birdie
Thomas
Sara
Alex
Travis
William
Charlotte
Sam
Jack
Maddy
Natan

He warned me. I didn’t listen. I had to check for myself. I need stimulation. This is my desperation.

I’ve always thought I look some what masculine. I don’t know why exactly but I do. My face, my internal voice, my stature. They have confirmed this to be true ;-p

The first photo I uploaded was a bad picture, the only one I had at work, and I am wearing my glasses. They showed me a picture of Rosanna Arquette, wearing sunglasses. On the lower percentage end of the spectrum they said I look like Avril Lavigne. Those who know me know there is no need for words. But in the full specturm, aside from 2 other random women, I look like men, men, men!! All of them wearing glasses! I was suspect. I tried again.

Second verse, same as the first…

Ok, actually upon reviewing it isn’t quite as bad. I resemble a young Judy Garland, Sharon Stone (young and not crazy), and Raquel Welch (I guess maybe I do have strong facial features). But Howard Dean? Pete Doherty? Keifer Sutherland?

I find the whole thing quite fascinating. I can see in the first match that my glasses and my very apple-y cheeks influenced most of the matches. In the second, I see it is my crooked, slightly open smile dominating. I am SO exactly the type of person that would spend all day taking dramatically different pictures of myself and running them through just for fun! As nothing struck more than a high 60% resemblance, I find myself drawing the same conclusion anytime I have been asked this question. I look like no celebrity I can readily think of.

I don’t think I have been this bored since I sat as a teenager, with my grandmother, in Roseburg, and watched a girl in a lime-green bikini do cartwheels across the lawn, her bright peach-colored house in the background.

I’m sure I am exaggerating. But man, was I bored then? Am I bored now?

That trip, taken nearly 20 years ago is still so vivid in my mind. Actually, in retrospect, it is only details of that trip that are so vivid because I realize I’m combining details with another trip, when my siblings were present.

I miss the days when my grandmother was a younger woman. I’ve spent many an hour playing Yahtzee, stealing warm Pepsi from the bottles in her kitchen, chatting up life in her kitchen.

I love you grandma!

there is no real reason for this post, just the boredom. thanks for the random trip down memory lane.

It is with the same breath I’ve held for several days now that I am able to say “congratulations on your new bouncing bunnie boy!”

My life has been touched in incredible ways by this woman’s story, her photographs, her mission, her Birdie and now her newborn Bunnie!

Please stop by and congratulate the newest addition to the fantabulous family

oh wait…

tgif
tgi get to go home in 25 mins
I’m down, what can I say

I really wanted earlier this week to post a really clever, scathing entry about these weird conversations my ex has been trying to engage me in. I realized at some point I just think it would be in bad taste to use the conversations verbatim. Let us just say that a man that doesn’t know what he wants from one hour to the next is exasperating. And me, being the lonely, wanting person I am, is having a hard time not jumping, or proding, or baiting or whatever. So instead all I can do is dredge up painful, painful memories of what has transpired over the last 18+ months over and over and over again to remind myself that lonely is nothing compared to that old routine.

the weather is grey today
I need to get my car fixed
my daughter has a fever
my ex is watching her in my house
i’m hoping she’ll sleep so I can read
need to make business calls
need to grocery shop
need to get warm
boo… time to jet