neural mapping
I was reading a book last night that was discussing the literal differences in the way introverts and extroverts process information, mapping out the brain paths that are typical among introverts as opposed to extroverts. This offered an explanation as to why the written word can be such an important way to express one's self for an introvert. The book also discusses the nervous system and how the different types produce and use brain chemicals differently, and I can see that I'm all out of whack. As an introvert I shouldn't be on hyperdrive all the time, and yet I am. When I act out as a karma-family person I always feel a bit out of sorts, even when I successfully balance and accomplish a great number of tasks. There's always something about it that doesn't feel quite right, and I'm wondering if these two facts are related. I run on adrenaline so much of the time and it's incredibly uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense or not but in terms of the writing I just feel like I need to sort myself out a bit, and relating to my anxiety is part of it. My depression has received so much attention over my life time, but in many ways it is the anxiety that both propels me forward by allowing me to accomplish more than should be possible and yet feels so uncomfortable. It is the anxiety that doesn't feel like me. It feels like a tactic, and I definitely want to meditate on that.