what if...
What if I thought about something else today? (I already spent all night thinking about him, literally, sleepless on my yoga mat. I've got to figure out a way to get a bed when Norbu and I move into our new apartment without increasing my debt load.)
What if I didn't think that things were hopeless? What if I thought that there's someone out there for me and that I'll meet them when the time is right and that Norbu's illness isn't even a factor in why this person hasn't come my way yet? What if I looked out the window and I took a deep breath and I just felt myself in the present moment?
Tak loaned me some magazines to peruse on the train as we schlepped out to the beach at Coney Island over the weekend and there was an article about breathing in the yoga magazine I grabbed. A lot of the yogis recommend mostly nasal breathing because of how mouth breathing turns on your adrenal system and there was a bit in the article about exclusively nasal breathing while running. Generally I try to breathe in through my noise and out through my mouth when running but I've tried the nasal only method the last couple of days. The technique is supposed to help calm you down over time. The question is will I be able to remember that this technique exists and continue to practice it until that time arrives? That is often my question, although with most of my other practices I seem to remember that they exist and then just flat out refuse to make the effort. Today, I feel like making the effort. I hope to capitalize on that while the feeling is there, carpe diem and all that jazz.