auspicious coincidence

I'm in a fog. Or a daze. Or something. I don't feel like much doing anything at all. I don't feel like working. Or writing emails. Or writing personal stuff. I don't feel like scheduling the appointments I've meant to schedule for weeks now. I don't feel like calling anyone. I don't feel like eating the lunch I've brought today, and I don't feel like brushing my teeth. I am indifferent. Uninspired. Marginally apathetic. Ignorant. I suppose my astrologer would be able to offer a perfectly reasonable explanation of where I am today. Or where I'm not. If I admit it to myself, there is something that I want to do, but I'm not allowing myself to do it because I don't think it's a very good thing. Holding that back has meant that I've put my whole life on hold, even if it's just for the afternoon. I was reading this thing about Zen and about how the instruction to do nothing was actually an instruction to be really active in interrupting your habitual patterns by just sitting there and waiting until your instinct passes, until the mud settles. That image of waiting for the mud to settle has appeared to me in three different forms in the past week. I think that means that I really need to pay attention to the message behind that particular metaphor. I need to sit down and stop flailing about, and just wait. What to do next will then become clear.